2008 - Child's Play

A new beginning of the end

Been awhile!!! So i;ve started working, kinda like this place, to my surprise it's been 6mths and i;m still in it lol. So wat's been up, nothing really. Spent xmas at home, my aunts from Canada and Oz came down, was fun whil it lasted. Spent new year's alone... boring but not like there was anything much to look forward too.

It's Jan already and quite a few marriages to look forward, one my cuzzie and 2 of me friends. Bleh!! Can't believe i;m like 25 already yikes! I havent done so many things!!! Oh well.... life goes on still right?

My frustrations are so built up
That it comes to a point of no return
It overwhelms me and eats me alive
Till there's left only one big hole
With nothing to gain and noone to blame
It's just totally psyched out how I still withstand it
Tears rolling down the side of face
With only music as my sound escape
Reality bites and dreams are lost
As you slowly feel no remorse
The things I hear and things I speak
Are different from what you may seek
I rant I chant I pray I sulk
but it's only cause I care
It's like learned helplessness
You want to but U won't
You can but you don;t
Someone pick me up and say snap out of it
And get me insync with who I am and what I am doing
I laugh I joke I just might be a clown
Funny on the outside but angry on the in
I somehow feel contended though
Its a wierd feeling of satisfaction
It's like you know you've got things to do but yet
you feel it's all falling through
Mixed up feelings come and go
Noone but the mirror to show
The ugly side when things go wrong
But the sweeter side will never be shown
It's funny how these thoughts come
I never wrote it before I typed it
Noone can understand anybody
Trust and people dont mix
Promises and words can't be kept
Listen but dont react
React later but dont outdo it
Keep ur distance from everybody even if you know the person
from outside in
Transparency is the worst thing to see
The tiny world inside you will then be diminished