Feel

Feel like banging my head on the damn wall
Feel like strangling myself with a damn rope
Feel like shooting myself with a damn gun
Feel like drowning myself in the damn sea

Feel like shouting at myself for being me
Fell like scolding myself for being lazy
Feel like running away form this country
Feel like breaking away from this insanity

Feel like my world is falling apart like it should be
Feel like it’s hanging on a thread that says break me
Feel like going to hell coz no one cares about me
Feel like breaking the obstacles that block me

Feeling a bit calm like I should be
Venting anger on someone is not going to help me
It’s killing me inside me inside and eating me alive
I don’t know hot I’ll survive
When it’s time for me to die!

How today has been

It's killing me
it's taking control
The mind is a state of illusion
Illuminating everything isee
Evryone i see
Illuminating the lies
And showing me the truths
I don;t want to see them truths
just stick me to the lies
it breaksmy heart
It tears my mind
It's so stupid
I wanna tell them off
but am afriad to lose the relationship
Arrrghhh!!!!!!!!!
Somebody save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Venting out me anger
I hate doing this
i just wanna runaway

Lives

In the world of Hate and fear
how do we want to survive?
Showing Love, Having Fun
What does that all mean today?
Memories and Tragidies
Which do we keep, which do we need
Seeing, hearing and Speaking
Of what and Of who
Show the mistakes and faults
Or show the fake and just be gone
People have lives, you know
what you feed them is what they breathe
Think of a worlf free of war
Hate or Poverty
It'll be sucky, i'll say
Coz then it'll not show
The existence of us
The human race

~The End~

Crap rite haha, this one i wrote wen i was feeling bored with one of me lectures haha

The Bitter Beginning

I am so gullible, Kill me now
I fell for a stupid trick that i am so embarassed now
I thought it was his song, i really did
Only to see that it was a artist who composed it
I feel like the world is a lie
It just takes one person to turn it around...
I feel i am living in a fake world
Where everyone around me is just faking it
No one relly likes me or want to talk to me
they do so only becasue i'm there and just want to make me feel
Like i'm their friend but am actually not
Stupid feeling, won't it go away
Not unless I feel like i'm worth it
I am fat, stupid and ugly
I wish i was somewhere else
Wish my brother was here
Missing him alot...*sigh*
many problems all in my head
Stupid things i think
to put myself down
I may look all happy but
I am not, i'm just a faker
I may look tough
But i'm just a weak loser
GRRRRRRR!!!!!
I am so against myself now....
Why can;t i be more serious
and take things seriously
I think everything is a joke
and take them lightly
Why!??? Why!???
Why cant i be more of something
Why can't i achieve something
Why why why
I need to getway
I need to think
I just hate feeling this way...so hate it...

~The End~

This BitterSweet Week

March is ending and April is coming!
I have been slacking and my term is ending!
Why oh why, i get so distracted so easily
I just can't get myself to perk up that easily
I know this term is crucial
But all i do is not give it a damn focus
I get caught up with stuff which are not important
and think there's always tommorow to fix the broken
I feel like crap
I feel like running away!

Ok so that just came into mind and that's how i've been feeling and have been feelign for this unfabulous week.

I tried to finish it,
I emailed him last week,
But there was something wrong with the fucking net,
I emailed him 5 times,
But he did not give a rat's ass
I emailed him again for the last time
And he replied
Said meeting's on Friday
But some fucking problem crept up on the last minute
My Life sucks
I emailed him back
To meet later
He mailed the head and said
You should advise her

So that was what happened this week with me Supervisor, I am so fed up with myself. I can only be angry with meself. Grrrrr

So i was playing a game and met this guy
He's only 16 but he plays like he's 25
He writes his own music with his friends by his side
He let me listen to them
And I was mystified
He said I was an influence
And he wrote me a song
He tried naming it Maria
But something cocked up and it was
Pagini 5th Caprice
He had just composed it
And I was in my abyss

You should hear his music, all music no wrods. Awesome stuff he's got going. Let's hope he'll make it big.

Easter's near
And i'm in the choir
We're singing for the easter mass
With 5 songs being ours
How great is this gonna be?
Awesome I tell thee
Can't wait for it to come
I'm practicing like a charm

So yes, easter mass, and the choirs singing. Can't wait yeah!!!! whoo hoo

Why write all i wanna say in poems, coz that's wat i do wen i'm feeling emotional. Down sad, frustrated u name it. Hope it makes sense though..Any thoughts!?

Till the next time!

Wat's been goin down dawg

So here i am again, yes more music and more rock bands..hahaha

Haven't bought nay new cds yet, i got like my allowance and i like only have like 30 $ left...Waht the Hell did i spend on? No it's not a new reality game show, but it should be for people like me. hehe

Anways what have i doing been doing lately, school tem has started and i did not attend for the first week, and now there's 3 more weeks till i gots no more lessons to attend, but only pass up my paper on the 15th of Apr, do a presentation and then sit for an exam coming soon, finish homewrok i showved away to be passed up on 24th of this month, and What Have I been doing...!!!!

Since this month started, been hanging out more, well i finished my chapter 4 but it was weak, hey i could tell i just lifted from teh books, my supervisor said it was weak and i was yeah i know, cause the chapter is lame, as its on SIngapore...i hate writing anything that's on Singapore man, it just sucks...so i had to like re-write it nad managed to do so 2 days past my dateline

I think my supervisor's mad at me, cause he didn't reply my mail....crap..dead yet again...wat's new eh?

So my aunt's been pestering me about going over to Canada and she's willing sponsor 1/2 the ticket price, which is cool, so thinking of it...not sure though

Guitar classes start next month and so do the drums but haven't signed up yet,,dammit, and registration is 21 $ and then 'Simple Plan' is ocming donw on the 30 and i wanna go and that's 50 $ tix but but no one wants to go, as my friends do not listen to them or they have work or schools and i'm just an idiot...Damned i'm such a loser....i could go with Kish but He's Going With HIs friends....DammiTTTT!!

Anyways. Yeah, trying to finish Chpater 1 of the thesis, which now i find i can merge it with chpater 2 and then i would just have to do the conclusion and the intrduction and the summary and then the bibliography and i'm done or so i think..

Finished the choir singing i was talkign about, but sadly it's not an every week thing, but it was cool although the mass was in Malayalam (i seriuosly didn;t undersatnd), and we could only get to sing 2 songs alhough we praticed 3, it was fun

Kids holidays are here and Easter is coming so everything is coming to and end...oh well i'm just being me...oh oh oh...

Went to O bar Sarah's b-day, didn;t wanna go, but oh well. can u tell i'm fickle...well had a great time, until i could not stretch my knees the next day...the pain haha...

Well out for now...soon to write...